Did you know that many small farms that practice Organic Farming can't label themselves as such because there are such stringent rules for claiming Organicness? I think its something like the land itself has to have been farmed organically for the previous three years and you've got to be a saint who lets the slugs feast away on your lettuces whilst pretending that you also don't mind that the birds are pecking into your plump tomatoes. And you've got to blatantly deny that any of the residue from your neighboring non-organic farming neighbor's pesticide sprays are drifting onto your crops in the tradewinds. Plus it's expensive to apply for the certification. It's a lot to think about and it's a lot to swallow for a small farmer.
Lolo Gardens is not Organic. I wish I had all the time in the world to patiently pick off individual slugs as they creep into my beds of greens. I wish I could claim that my home was never sprayed for termites. I wish I had time to sing to my flowers to encourage them to grow. But I don't. Sluggo (a 'non-toxic' version of slugicide, at least) is my friend. I make the best of what I have and try to treat my yard like its my bedroom- nothing too toxic or harmful allowed. But I am not a saint.
But I am planning to try. Maybe you could call it a resolution. This year I will strive to be successful in a quest to live in an Organic world. I will try to use only natural fertilizer (aka, chicken poo) for my flowers. I will continue to feed the birds natural 'veggie feed crumbles' offset by kitchen scraps. I will plant heirloom varieties of fruits and veggies and project love and affection to everything in the yard, wishing it a happy growth spurt. And I will try to Organically approach the one aspect of my life that needs all the help it can get. I am making a vow to try to date organically.
What the heck does that mean? In the words of Bridget Jones, it means I will not date 'emotional fuckwidts or perverts', trustafarians or anyone toxic to my system. I will not try to wring life from a dead connection. I will not sign up for dating websites to go out with men who can only summon charm through a computer screen. I will not get hung up on timelines or ticking clocks. In my personal world of organicness, there is no 3-year moratorium- it will begin being Organic right now.
So- like a garden taking the good (ripe tomatoes and happy birds) with the bad (slugs and snails), I will put on makeup and put myself out there this year. I will take the bad (awkward conversations at a gas pump anyone?) with hopefully some of the really good (maybe he's out there after all?). And I promise to write about it... Ha. Like I could keep it to myself.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Quality Time
May I suggest a few ways to spend the last few days of being 32? The last few days of the Year of the Rabbit? The first few days of an uneventful 2012?
First- watch plenty of DVDs. Gravitate toward the 'You'll find love in your 30's. Really. Don't give up!' Genre. May I suggest the following:
Third- Nap. Often. Don't feel guilty.
Fourth- Drink Tea. With leftover Eggnog. Who cares if it's past the pull date. It's not chunky or smelly yet. Drink up.
Fifth- Decide you don't have enough crazy chickens in the yard and sign up for a few more in a March hatch. Actually, this is probably a bad idea. But it happened.
Sixth- Get comfortable with the idea of 2012 being the Year of the Water Dragon. I've been told that this is the year to get things done. That the Water Dragon year moves swiftly like a river- jump in and start swimming, and don't get washed away. Caution to not spread yourself too thin. Encouragement to take control. This will be the year of the Urban Homestead and Bakery. Lolo Gardens will be launched. A logo will be finalized, recipies will be developed and clients will be found. But I still have a week of lazing and eating and napping before I have to start getting serious.
Excuse me, but I have a movie to watch and some chocolate to eat.
A hui hou,
Shay
First- watch plenty of DVDs. Gravitate toward the 'You'll find love in your 30's. Really. Don't give up!' Genre. May I suggest the following:
- Beginners (LOVE this new favorite)
- Bridget Jones' Diary
- 500 Days of Summer (yeah, they were probably in their 20s... but its still a cute & quirky pic)
- Leap Year (give me a beautiful Irish man any day)
Third- Nap. Often. Don't feel guilty.
Fourth- Drink Tea. With leftover Eggnog. Who cares if it's past the pull date. It's not chunky or smelly yet. Drink up.
Fifth- Decide you don't have enough crazy chickens in the yard and sign up for a few more in a March hatch. Actually, this is probably a bad idea. But it happened.
Sixth- Get comfortable with the idea of 2012 being the Year of the Water Dragon. I've been told that this is the year to get things done. That the Water Dragon year moves swiftly like a river- jump in and start swimming, and don't get washed away. Caution to not spread yourself too thin. Encouragement to take control. This will be the year of the Urban Homestead and Bakery. Lolo Gardens will be launched. A logo will be finalized, recipies will be developed and clients will be found. But I still have a week of lazing and eating and napping before I have to start getting serious.
Excuse me, but I have a movie to watch and some chocolate to eat.
A hui hou,
Shay
Monday, December 26, 2011
Being a 'Big Girl' at (nearly) 33
Is it strange that I find myself retelling a breakup story and saying that I handled it 'like a big girl?' What a weird phrase, that at less than 2 weeks away from being 33 years old it rolls off my tongue without hesitation. It's a phrase you tell a six-year-old when she's having a meltdown, not a phrase to describe a long-independent, fairly rational adult. It makes me realize that if I handle a situation 'like a big girl', it probably means I don't consider myself to be a big girl all the time... maybe ever. Or is it that I am just getting so practiced at being broken up with that I am just learning how I am supposed to act?
I didn't sob uncontrollably. I didn't throw a temper tantrum. I didn't get angry and slam the door. I just stoically sat quietly and listened to why I just wasn't the one. Yet again. I quietly wiped the tears as they slid silently down my cheeks. Once again. I didn't grovel and beg him to change his mind. I know that wearing heels and perfume next time I see him won't make him doubt what he's decided.
Maybe 'acting like a big girl' is actually just accepting resignation. You've lost. The race is over, and you didn't win. Nothing you can do can change that. No arguing with a referee. No whining about it not being fair. There is no asking for a do-over. When you've put your heart and soul into that race, projected your wishes and dreams onto it's hopeful outcome, it's really hard to accept. You're exausted and drained and utterly defeated. You can't fathom lacing up your shoes to do it again. And you have a splitting headache from the muscle tension in your forehead as you tried to keep from crying... compounded with the dehydration that comes with the floodgates opening as soon as he leaves and you can't stop crying.
But after a full day of welling up approximately every eight minutes, I think I've cleared the system. I've still got that pounding headache. I still have that dull heartache. But the feelings of desperation have faded. The irrational thoughts of never finding someone have gone back underground. The swelling around my eyes has gone down and with the flush in my cheeks, I actually looked pretty when I saw myself in the mirror a few minutes ago. I hope sleep will wash away the rest of the sadness and I can start tomorrow fresh. Because, isn't that what big girls are supposed to do?
I didn't sob uncontrollably. I didn't throw a temper tantrum. I didn't get angry and slam the door. I just stoically sat quietly and listened to why I just wasn't the one. Yet again. I quietly wiped the tears as they slid silently down my cheeks. Once again. I didn't grovel and beg him to change his mind. I know that wearing heels and perfume next time I see him won't make him doubt what he's decided.
Maybe 'acting like a big girl' is actually just accepting resignation. You've lost. The race is over, and you didn't win. Nothing you can do can change that. No arguing with a referee. No whining about it not being fair. There is no asking for a do-over. When you've put your heart and soul into that race, projected your wishes and dreams onto it's hopeful outcome, it's really hard to accept. You're exausted and drained and utterly defeated. You can't fathom lacing up your shoes to do it again. And you have a splitting headache from the muscle tension in your forehead as you tried to keep from crying... compounded with the dehydration that comes with the floodgates opening as soon as he leaves and you can't stop crying.
But after a full day of welling up approximately every eight minutes, I think I've cleared the system. I've still got that pounding headache. I still have that dull heartache. But the feelings of desperation have faded. The irrational thoughts of never finding someone have gone back underground. The swelling around my eyes has gone down and with the flush in my cheeks, I actually looked pretty when I saw myself in the mirror a few minutes ago. I hope sleep will wash away the rest of the sadness and I can start tomorrow fresh. Because, isn't that what big girls are supposed to do?
Friday, December 9, 2011
Step Away from the Cookies
Tis the season for over indulgence. This is the time of year I love and I loath. The time of year when pounds of butter are not only stuffed into my freezer, they are also currently making a home on more than one shelf of the fridge. The pantry is dangerously overfull with marshmallows, chocolate chips, coconut shreds and sugars of brown, white and raw. I can feel a second chin bulging out just thinking about it all.
At work I sit in a office all day, surrounded by tins of sweets- cast offs from coworkers, gifts from clients, omiyagi (Hawaii/Japanese tradition of bringing gifts when you visit friends) and candy bars used for guest activities. This time of year I end up eating cookies that aren't good, they're just readily available, and I end up returning again and again to the conference room for 'just one more' snack. It's usually not satisfying and it's certainly not healthy. So what's a girl to do?
The answer came to me yesterday as I pondered what to do with the 32(!!!!!) egg whites I had in the freezer from my last stint making Likikoi Curd. I'll make my own combative goodie that will satisfy my sugar-craving needs and keep me away from the rest of the junk. A cookie-type sweet that is loaded with fiber and potassium, has a light vanilla fragrance the lingers on your tastebuds and just enough sweet to satiate without overpowering. An easy-to make treat that is dairy free, gluten free, kosher, and downright tropical. I am now convinced that Coconut Macaroons may in fact be the world's perfect food.
Now, I am the girl that can easily put away half a box of Peppermint JoJo's before I've realized I opened the package, so its a relief to know that about 1 1/2 of these little "Hawaiian Snowballs" leaves me happily sugared but able to walk away from them (though undoubtedly I will return for that other 1/2... you can't leave a wounded cookie on the battlefield!) Absolutely perfect.
So let's get cookin' the magic, shall we?
A few hints to this recipe:
#1- Use quality vanilla. I am unabashedly a vanilla snob and will only use fragrant Mexican vanilla. Anytime I am within a 4-hour driving distance, I make a point to 'Run for the Border Louise'. I get a kick out of shopping for vanilla in liquor stores and begging the store merchant to let me smell the bottles too. But that's another story...
#2- Beat your egg whites with a mixer until they ALMOST form meringuey peaks. Add the vanilla and salt at this point and beat for just another few seconds to incorporate.
#3- Don't use the sweetened, flaked coconut you find in the regular grocery store's baking aisle. It's decent coconut, but the sugar/sweet ratio will be thrown off in this recipe. Shop a health food store for unsweetened coconut (usually called (aptly) "Macaroon Coconut") instead. I get mine at the local food co-op, Kokua Market.
#4- What do you do if you don't go through egg yolks in mass quantity like me and regularly have whites available? Build your supply, slowly. David Lebovitz (a dessert genius who blogs from Paris) taught me that it's OK to freeze egg whites. I tried it and sure enough, it works like a charm. He suggests using an ice cube tray to freeze individual whites in each compartment. Also brilliant. Then you won't be trying to remember how many you put in that re-purposed yogurt container you used and then measuring and dividing (and divining) to figure our how much of your container filled with frozen whites you need per batch. Not that that's a scenario that I am familiar with... ehem.
#5- Share. It's a food for the masses. Your gluten-free/ Celiac-cursed friends will love you. Your dairy-free/ lactose-avoiding friends will love you. Your kosher or passover-observing friends will love you. Your girlfriends on a diet will also love you. See? The world's most perfect food.
Hawaiian Snowballs
Preheat oven to 350.
Combine coconut & sugar in a large bowl. Beat egg whites with a mixer. Add vanilla and salt to eggs and blend. Add meringuish blob to the dry mix and incorporate with a wooden spoon or your hands (I use a combo of both).
Roll into 2" balls and set onto a parchment-lined baking sheet. The batter is sticky, so keeping your hands slightly wet with water while shaping may help.
Bake 15 minutes until lightly golden on top. Transfer entire sheet to a cooling rack and cool for 30 minutes.
If you're feeling fancy, you can dip or drizzle melted chocolate over the coconut magic when they've finished cooling.
Makes approximately 20 snowballs. Indulge and feel good. The double chin will bid adieu in January.
 |
| Cooling after baking. |
The answer came to me yesterday as I pondered what to do with the 32(!!!!!) egg whites I had in the freezer from my last stint making Likikoi Curd. I'll make my own combative goodie that will satisfy my sugar-craving needs and keep me away from the rest of the junk. A cookie-type sweet that is loaded with fiber and potassium, has a light vanilla fragrance the lingers on your tastebuds and just enough sweet to satiate without overpowering. An easy-to make treat that is dairy free, gluten free, kosher, and downright tropical. I am now convinced that Coconut Macaroons may in fact be the world's perfect food.
Now, I am the girl that can easily put away half a box of Peppermint JoJo's before I've realized I opened the package, so its a relief to know that about 1 1/2 of these little "Hawaiian Snowballs" leaves me happily sugared but able to walk away from them (though undoubtedly I will return for that other 1/2... you can't leave a wounded cookie on the battlefield!) Absolutely perfect.
So let's get cookin' the magic, shall we?
A few hints to this recipe:
#1- Use quality vanilla. I am unabashedly a vanilla snob and will only use fragrant Mexican vanilla. Anytime I am within a 4-hour driving distance, I make a point to 'Run for the Border Louise'. I get a kick out of shopping for vanilla in liquor stores and begging the store merchant to let me smell the bottles too. But that's another story...
#2- Beat your egg whites with a mixer until they ALMOST form meringuey peaks. Add the vanilla and salt at this point and beat for just another few seconds to incorporate.
#3- Don't use the sweetened, flaked coconut you find in the regular grocery store's baking aisle. It's decent coconut, but the sugar/sweet ratio will be thrown off in this recipe. Shop a health food store for unsweetened coconut (usually called (aptly) "Macaroon Coconut") instead. I get mine at the local food co-op, Kokua Market.
#4- What do you do if you don't go through egg yolks in mass quantity like me and regularly have whites available? Build your supply, slowly. David Lebovitz (a dessert genius who blogs from Paris) taught me that it's OK to freeze egg whites. I tried it and sure enough, it works like a charm. He suggests using an ice cube tray to freeze individual whites in each compartment. Also brilliant. Then you won't be trying to remember how many you put in that re-purposed yogurt container you used and then measuring and dividing (and divining) to figure our how much of your container filled with frozen whites you need per batch. Not that that's a scenario that I am familiar with... ehem.
#5- Share. It's a food for the masses. Your gluten-free/ Celiac-cursed friends will love you. Your dairy-free/ lactose-avoiding friends will love you. Your kosher or passover-observing friends will love you. Your girlfriends on a diet will also love you. See? The world's most perfect food.
Hawaiian Snowballs
- 3 cups of unsweetened coconut flakes
- 1 cup sugar
- 3 egg whites
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- pinch salt
Preheat oven to 350.
Combine coconut & sugar in a large bowl. Beat egg whites with a mixer. Add vanilla and salt to eggs and blend. Add meringuish blob to the dry mix and incorporate with a wooden spoon or your hands (I use a combo of both).
Roll into 2" balls and set onto a parchment-lined baking sheet. The batter is sticky, so keeping your hands slightly wet with water while shaping may help.
 |
| C'est super fancy. |
Bake 15 minutes until lightly golden on top. Transfer entire sheet to a cooling rack and cool for 30 minutes.
If you're feeling fancy, you can dip or drizzle melted chocolate over the coconut magic when they've finished cooling.
Makes approximately 20 snowballs. Indulge and feel good. The double chin will bid adieu in January.
 |
| Spoiler alert- immediate family may see these arriving in the mail soon. |
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Sometimes life flops
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| Don't be deceived. It only looks good. |
What else flopped this week? I spent my whole paycheck before I even received it. Oops. Financial planning flop. I got on the scale at the doctor's and see that I weigh the most I have weighed in 18 years. Not freaking out about it completely... but that's definitely along the lines of health flop. I got the results of my 'employees review the managers' review. And my star employee tells me she forgot to fill it out, leaving my disgruntled, currently-out-on-worker's-comp-for-a-minor-injury-going-on-6-months-now, employee to trash me up, down & sideways as the primary evaluator giving me 'you suck' scores. Management flop. Oh- and, I got dumped. Love life flop. Which is comical and tragic at once. Tragic because there wasn't a single red flag before I got blindsided by his abrupt and finite brake slamming. Comical because it freakin figures. No more online dating for me. Serious. I need to date men that are comfortable interacting in person, not just through heavily edited emails. And I need to date men that have dated enough to know what they want. But that's another story all together.
So just prior to the getting dumped, I manifested my bedroom with all the feng shui vibes that I have been told will change my romantic future. So either it really DIDN'T work at all... or this last guy was simply another 'not the one' and I now have a fantastically feng shuied 'Why don't cha come up and see me sometime' bedroom waiting for Mr. Right-Enough to visualize himself getting cozy in. Now don't start thinking I did anything too overt. The room got a round mirror (according to friend Christina this is a must for good vibes in the sheets. Not sure why that is, but I don't question her and I put one on the wall), a cleared out closet so Mr. Nearly-Amazing can picture his own clothes hanging next to mine. Two nightstands. Two reading lamps. Clean sheets- like brand new, with no mildew stains because I live on the edge of a rainforest sheets (true story) so Mr. Slightly Flawed Because He's Human doesn't get all grossed out. Notice a pattern here too? I think I need the next man I date to have a few flaws- not red flag flaws, but enough human flaws to keep the relationship humbled and grounded. Maybe that's a more feng shui way to approaching dating too. Probably? Definitely. Now I need to take the feng shui course in how to get the guts to actually make eye contact and talk with random cute men. Any suggestions as to where this course might be published would be appreciated. ;)
So I gotta turn this flop of a week around. Shaking off the boy. Shaking off the muffins. Shaking off the "I have no money" and the sucky review. Shaking off the weight thing too. This is starting to sound like that Mariah Carey song.
So this week will entail baking a good recipe, talking to a cute man in person, and avoiding pulling cash out of the bank. Gonna make it happen. And hopefully I'll smell like roses too.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Manifesting Muffins
If you build it, they will come. If you buy nice sheets for your bed, they will come. If you project your desires to the world (in my case, as the form of a perfect boyfriend), he will come. If you visualize your life as you want it, it will manifest itself. All bits of heavy, slightly too new-agey advice that I have sagely and seriously been offered this week. How about my own? Plan and bake the perfect muffin and the Farmer's Market managers will ask me to come. Done and done.
I know one thing, I am tired of trying my hand at internet dating. I am tired of 'meeting' socially awkward men online and then being disappointed in person. My biggest beefs with them are usually superficial too, so shame on me. The last guy I went out with on a first/last date? Super nice. Super effeminate. Super not attracted. I seriously have no one to blame but myself for my perpetual singledom. So I am owning that blame and will make a concerted effort to meet 'real' men (as opposed to the virtual ones). Then at least I know if they have a lisp or look 55 despite claiming to be 35 before we get past hello. I will manifest the introductions just as I will manifest my perfect muffins.
So tonight, I put on my 'wish necklace' ("Make a wish on this necklace and when it falls off your body in a state of worn and mildewed stinkiness it will come true"... ok, ok, so they necklace is actually beautiful and it's directions said nothing about the mildew & stinkiness...) and set about baking a perfect batch of islandified Morning Glory Muffins. Pineapple. Carrot. Raisins. Apple. Coconut. Macadamia Nuts. Cinnamon and Spice. What's amazing is that this muffin is dairy free and convincingly healthy. It's different enough to turn heads, but comforting enough to be a go-to morning muffin when you're looking for something to crunch on in between the sink-your-teeth-into-heaven deliciousness. Yup, they're that good.
I know one thing, I am tired of trying my hand at internet dating. I am tired of 'meeting' socially awkward men online and then being disappointed in person. My biggest beefs with them are usually superficial too, so shame on me. The last guy I went out with on a first/last date? Super nice. Super effeminate. Super not attracted. I seriously have no one to blame but myself for my perpetual singledom. So I am owning that blame and will make a concerted effort to meet 'real' men (as opposed to the virtual ones). Then at least I know if they have a lisp or look 55 despite claiming to be 35 before we get past hello. I will manifest the introductions just as I will manifest my perfect muffins.
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| Morning Glory in Paradise Muffins |
Saturday, October 15, 2011
R&D by the numbers
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| Kabocha (local pumpkin) Cinnamon Rolls with lemony-cream cheese frosting. |
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| Muffins. It was all about the muffins. |
Well played.
The end result of the R&D breakfast (after a long, recuperating, sugar-coma induced nap)? I'm moving forward. I've got better direction. I'm whittling down bakery names. And I dearly, truly love my friends.
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| Tart & creamy Lilikoi Curd. |
Muffins were the clear winner in the tastings. The lilikoi curd and the cream cheese frosting from the cinnamon rolls were standouts. Looking forward to refining recipies and sharing the results!
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